Tania's Words

here is an empty shell- a resonant shadow- waiting

Post Baby Madness

Seems like everyone I know is having a baby right now. Dan’s cousin and my good friend who both blog had their daughters last Tuesday and already they are blogging. Granted, they blogged their whole pregnancies….and I did not.  But I still felt compelled to blog just so that I would not feel lazy.

First the great news, which is that on Wednesday April 27th, Lucas Xavier made his debut at 10:07 in the morning! He weighed in at a tiny 6 lbs 9 oz, and is absolutely perfect! Although I was and still am disapointed that I had to have another c section, this time the experience was much better. A very nice nurse held up a mirror so I actually got to see when he came out, and it was a lot less scary! I was also not as worn out and had a better reaction to the spinal- no shaking! Getting the spinal in was another story (according to the anesthesiologist, I have a very athletic back…since I’ve never been accused of having an athletic anything, I’ll take it!), but overall it was as positive an experience as I could hope for!

I think it was really good for Dan too. He remarked that it was a much more emotional experience than Parker’s birth, mostly because he was so scared and everything was such a whirlwind with the decision to do a c-section with him. Without that fear, he and I were able to focus more on the actual reality and experience of Lucas’ birth (ok, help me out here, I should know this but how do I do that in a grammatically correct way?)

We’ve been home for almost a week now, and so far things are fantastic. Lucas is so far an angel baby, very mellow and easy to please. He is fussy at night, but as long as he is with me he is pretty easy to calm down. Easy enough that I don’t mind being up at night with him. And and added plus is that he occasionally will latch on, so I am able to combo breast feed and bottle feed, which I didn’t think I’d be able to do, since Parker would not latch at all.

Parker has been a wonderful big brother so far. He likes the baby and he is interested, but not too jealous. He is very attached to Daddy right now, which is good but hard for me to see. I am used to him being my little guy. Dan says that Parker knows I am hurt and that I need time to heal.  It is nice having Dan home for the next few weeks, but I am anxious about what is to come when he goes back to work!  Anxiety has been the watch word in this postpartum time for me.  I am also struggling with feeling lazy when I know that realistically I need time to heal and to rest, but it is hard to depend on Dan for everything and not to be up and about doing things!!

Right now, I am feeling pressure to get organized and have a plan for when Dan goes home. I’d like to research making baby food for Lucas this time around. I also would like to form some sort of plan to get Parker to eat more than one meal a day!  Organization has never been my strength, so we will see how this goes!


  Julie Makany wrote @

Hooray for Tania!

  Maura wrote @

Don’t be too hard on yourself with getting organized. You are doing an amazing job, and Lucas is perfect!

  Jennifer wrote @

I am so glad things are going well for you! It is not an easy transition for any of us and I cannot imagine having to do it after a c section! You do not give yourself enough credit. I am sure Parkers new found attachment to his dad is hard but it will not last forever. Pretty soon he will be back to asking for you and then you will miss the Daddy attachment. Keep up the awesome work!

  tswelti wrote @

I agree with Jennifer above, the new attachment to dad probably won’t last long. I hope you’re feeling more like yourself today. I know how the hormones rage at times like these. 🙂

I wanted to let you know I nominated you for a blog award. You can find the details here. 🙂 http://tswelti.com/wp/?p=541

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