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Professional development for strippers or lessons in empowerment?

Be warned, today’s post might be a bit more risque than usual. This was meant to be yesterday’s blog, but alas, time got away from me. That is, I chose to watch four episodes of last seasons LOST with Dan. Good times.

Moving on. Yesterday proved to be one of those days where random and hilarious stuff happens.  Maybe only hilarious to me, but since I was amused, it was enough for me.

As I was exiting an appointment, yesterday around noon, I approached my car, only to be accosted by a flier for pole dancing classes (and by accosted, I mean it was stuck in my window).  I must admit that at first, I thought it was an add for a strip club, which seemed a little out of place in West Bloomfield. What led me astray? Perhaps it was the silhouette of a busty lady on a pole. Or it could have been the overly cute pink and black decor. You decide.

Anyway, I was curious enough to actually read the flier, which has since provided me with at least 24 hours of not only amusement, but also some deep thinking. A twofer. How rare.

Here’s what it said ” For years exotic dancing has served as an outlet for men to escape. Although, in recent times this art form has become not only an escape for men, but also a release for women. It provides a platform for women to display sensuality, sexuality, and confidence. No longer taboo, women can now approach the stage with fearlessness and self-assurance.  Now, with XXXX we intend to bring the essentials of exotic dancing, with added layers of physical fitness, sodality, and entertainment. Interest may range from professional to personal. Whether women want to spice it up in the bedroom or just have a fun time with their girlfriends. XXXX is dedicated to providing a warm and inviting environment while promoting sisterhood, self-possession, and good health.”

Oh man. Where to begin. I’m not even going to touch the awkward grammar. First, I had to look up the word Sodality, because I won’t lie, I had no idea what it meant. According to dictionary.com, it means fellowship, or, A society or an association, especially a devotional or charitable society for the laity in the Roman Catholic Church.

Huh. I’m not sure the Roman Catholic Church is gonna get behind this one. Just saying.

Ok, second- I am confused. Am I supposed to learn to pole dance because it is going to empower me, or to learn to be a stripper so I can get a good job? Apparently I can do both. Now  I cannot speak for all women, and I’ve never been a stripper, so this may be out of line. But I have known a few strippers (when you work in food service, you meet a little bit of everything and everyone). And I don’t think that stripping empowered either of them. For one, stripping funded a drug problem, and for the other, it was the only means of making fast enough cash to find a place to live after being kicked out of her parents house.

Now, I’ve never thought much about it, but always assumed that stripping (as in, being a stripper in a club or whatnot), was just another way to exploit women. If you disagree, please feel free to sway me to your side. I love a good argument.

Serious matters aside, just the way this add is written begs me to ask a few questions. “For years exotic dancing has served as an outlet for men to escape.” Wait a minute. Are the men dancing? What are they escaping? To be honest, the thought of male exotic dancers makes me want to escape.

“Although, in recent years, this art form has become not only an escape for men, but a release from women.”  I’m going to side step some rather obvious jokes here, and wonder, am I the only woman who isn’t into male exotic dancers? Is the author or said add not aware that it sounds like this add is for Chippendales?

Skip the next few lines to the line, “No longer taboo.” Ok- is being a stripper no longer taboo, or is learning to strip no longer taboo? Is this taboo in the literal sense (in which case, it hasn’t been, since as far as I know, there are strip clubs everywhere, and I challenge you to say you don’t know someone who has been to one. I challenge you. Gauntlet thrown), or is it no longer taboo as in, it is the cool new thing  to go to strip clubs?

“Interest may range from professional to social.” So…is this professional development for strippers or lessons in empowerment for housewives? I am all for empowerment, but I don’t know how many women, with a secret yearning to learn how to pole dance, are going to pay to learn to strip with women who are learning to strip because they need a job.  I don’t think it is a very empowering message to send to women- learn to strip so you’ll be self confident, and also, so you can get a job where someone will be exploiting you. Yeah.  How can this add purport to be “promoting sisterhood, self-possesion, and good health”? If I am really being a sister to my other lady friends out there, I think I would encourage them to use their other gifts, talents, and intelligence to get a job which will garner them the respect they deserve, and will empower them to love themselves.

If you are interested however, you can book a party with your friends. These feature Poletinis and Nibblets, which I assume are drinks and food. But they could be crazy pole dancing moves, in which case, I hesitate to ask, what is a nibblet?

Ok, and now that I have you all riled up because of my views on stripping, for the second hilarious thing that happened.

It was nearing dinner time and I was busy pulling about 75 giblets out of a 5 lb chicken (the packaging assured me that some chickens won’t come with all the giblets. I know why now. Because my chicken got them all), when I hear Dan calling me from the other room to come quick, two cats are about to get into a fight in our yard.

My life is just that exciting, that I dropped my chicken and did in fact, come running. Out the back window I can see the cats. One is a regular visitor- a large grey tabby that visits Punky and Peanut through the windows often. The other is a smaller tortoiseshell cat much like Peanut- mostly black with weird coloring. Anyway. The two cats are squaring off. The glooming sky is darkening, the snow sets a stark contrast as the black cat lays his ears flat and hisses (I assume he hissed). Parker, Dan and I are riveted. And then…a mouse runs between the two cats, and turns around to watch the fight…and watches the fight.

That is right. A mouse literally ran between the two cats, and they didn’t even bat an eye (I assume, they were too far away for me to see their eyes).

Oh and in case you still care, the grey cat totally kicked the black cat’s butt. After the fur had settled, and the snow where the black cat was defeated had been peed on (I assume), I returned to my chicken. The mouse, comfortable in the knowledge that it had no enemies, hung out in the back yard for a while. By now I assume he’s infiltrated my house and is after my plethora of chicken giblets. Time will tell.

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